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2月18日 Should have, Would have, Could haveSo, many things have remained unsaid; and much time has passed unnoticed.
I'm glad I finally came to draw this important conclusion of my life that "if I dont do it now, I will never get it done at any point of my life" for there will be constantly less and less time to do it in the future...
Oh well, the first priority is reserved for apologies. I am sorry for being such a self-centered brat.
A few emails, some letters, two bundles of roses, one box of chocolates, and lots of love.
As I collected all these, I was also forgetting to wish all the ones that I care a happy valentine's day.
Right, I have been surprisingly busy. To an extent that I had to put off returning emails to my friends back home, and I certainly forgot to tell them how "a few lines of yours just made my day". That I should have done despite how "occupied" I was.
Dear Diana you did succeed in making me laugh...as always.
I am surprised at the fact that I did not remind certain people in my life of how much I still care about them.
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I would have prepared something sweet for my sweethearts in advance if I wasn't being so lethargic and insensitive. I should have told Linda her chocolate rose was the most fabulous valentine's gift I've ever received.
And yeah,
I have to tell "that someone" who would probably never get to read this blog that I could not entertain any less regret for making the choice.
I am sorry I have been so stingy on giving you compliments, to an extent that you actually had to take notes whenever I said something positive about you.
But thanks for being such a smart, understanding and generous person;
thanks for making so much sense to me;
in particular, thanks for making economics bearable.
So, I like the fact that we are both chill, "emotionless", and on the same page.
I like how we constantly make fun of each other and laugh until one of us turns idiotic.
I like how you "appear to know everything...everything but PEOPLE".
I like how girly and delicate your hands are.
I like how you curse.
I like how you refuse to gossip behind people and always being decent even though you curse a lot.
I like how you explain this complicated world to me and make the most boring topics interesting, and how you tolerate me arguing with you from the most ridiculous standpoint.
I like it when you grabbed my head over and asked me "why are you crying against the wall, lady?"
I like it when you say the following (which you tend to repeat them in multiple occasions everyday):
"it sucks balls...f**k, actually, it just sucks, period."
"ingeneous"
"yes, no, maybe so?"
"learning new things everyday"
"there's only so much I can deny"
"maybe an answer" (whenever I try to start a conversation with "I have a question")
"should have, would have, could have" (you always say that when I am too lazy or too irresponsible to accomplish something in my life)
I like 98% of your jokes and 100% of the spoilt surprises that you ever gave or intended to give me. Although a giant Bucky walking into my room with a girly pink hearty chocolate box did scare the hell out of me.
You are truly making my life a much cuter one ( and a much more dynamic one academic-wise as well ). I have never felt so TRUSTED -- in return -- I have much respect for you in stock (meaning, I haven't showed you enough respect yet).
However, I really didn't expect things to turn so ugly. There's still a lot to learn in this world.
Like you said, "there's always hope for improvements", right?
Thanks to you, both of you, I want to be the smart and strong lady that I should be.
Thanks to you, both of you, I never regret being nice to people and now I only want to be nicer and kinder, only without expecting the world to return the favor any more.
Sorry for all the frustrations I caused.
"Not doing the wrong thing doesnt mean we're doing the right thing". Yes, no, maybe so?
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